Saturday, June 16, 2007

The Greatest Band Ever.

Brand New, end of story.

Real content coming soon, I can guarantee it.*

*not a guarantee.

Friday, March 30, 2007

Duality and The Sentry.

Robert Reynolds. The Sentry. The Void. All of these in one body. Young Robbie Reynolds drank a concentrated form of the Super Soldier serum, gained the power of "a million exploding suns", he became the Sentry, The Golden Guardian of good.

He also became the Void, the darkness in everyones hearts. For all the good he does as the Sentry, the Void comes to balance it out. And this leads to one key point in the Marvel Universe.


For every Captain America, there is a Red Skull, Wolverine has Sabretooth, The X-men has the brotherhood, and Spider-man has Venom. Similar powers with different psyches beneath. Robert Reynolds, as the Sentry was set to be the most powerful person in the Marvel U. He need a counter, an opposite, and there's only one person in the Marvel U with that kind of power.

Robert Reynolds.

Reynolds' mind was split, be it naturally or as suggested the work of a mutant, he became two halves to a whole. A light and a dark. In the first issue of the original mini this duality was hinted at, with Reynold's supposed alcohol problem, and issues with addiction. Reynolds starts as a weak, drunken, overweight, agoraphobic nobody who dreams of being something more. Throughout the mini he becomes the hero he imagines, and then, once the truth of The Void is brought to light, Reynolds does what can be considered the most heroic moment in Marvel History.

He gives it up. Knowing what he was going to be after, he still changes back, to a nobody who dreams of being a hero no one remembers.

But if no one remembers the Sentry, can there still be a Void? Unfortunately, it appears so. On the very first page, Reynolds is awoken, by what he believes is the Void himself, but it is not until Robert drinks the "serum" that the Void is released. This leads me to believe that Robert is always the Void, but the Void can only be free when Robert and everyone else knows who he is. The Void lies deep within him, always on the border of Robert. Without his powers one may believe that the Void may have represented himself as a separate personality inside Reynolds.
House of M 2, which was an alternate reality tale, showed Robert powerless, having never been the Sentry, and still he dreams of the Void, the blackness that overtakes him.

So which is the dominant personality, the Sentry, or the Void. I think that Robert will always BE the Void, only occasionally becoming the Sentry. The Void, who represents the base nature of people, as simplistic, violent, angry creatures, like most other animals, will never go away, just be hidden underneath a golden veneer. Not unlike regular people, we all have a darker, violent, animalistic side, that we hide under socio-cultural themes and customs. The Void, is just these basic emotions, multiplied a million fold.

Best way I can sum it up.

Once more The Sentry, forever more the Void

Thursday, March 22, 2007

The next generation.

Before you ask, no this will not have anything to do with Star Trek. At all.

This is about the next generation of law enforcement. Crime rates pretty much across the board are rising, and law enforcement professionals can't seem to contain it all. Is it their fault? No, the police and security try their best but get trapped under bureaucracy and miles of red tape.

What we need is individuals to "assist" the police. Yes, I mean costumed vigilantes. By empowering the regular people we can show those that would prey on the innocent that we aren't afraid. We could usher in a new era.

Now, I'm sure people are saying, "Well, who will watch the vigilantes," Well, despite the fact that any person working under this act that goes too far will in fact become what they fight, and thus, subject to the same penalties under the law, one can assume that within but a few months the entire body would become self regulating, and a certain level of respect for those at this profession longer then those new to it.

This is a step. Not a solution, problems that arise from this initiative will be small. After all, we are only people. With the advent of super-powers and technology that can fake those powers years off (yeah, yeah I'm working on it) there is little chance of major collateral damage from this. Perhaps some form of licensing system, or a system where those responsible for collateral damage are held accountable.

The new symbol of justice is the mask, not the badge.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Frank Castle. The New America?

What you see here, is the variant cover to Punisher: War Journal #7 due out in a couple months. Upon Steve Rogers' surrender in Civil War 7, Castle picked up the mask, and later Castle saw the Captain's assassination on the TV's in Times Square after being lured out by Bushwhacker and G.W Bridge. (worst name ever btw.), what this has led people to believe and this cover doesn't hurt, is that Frank Castle, is the new Captain America.

What better way could Marvel state their feelings on the changes in America. No longer do they play defense with a shield but rather stay on the offense with a gun. Yeah it may possibly be the single worst costume ever (with the possible exception of Yellow and Red Daredevil, a costume only a blind man could love), but Frank's never been one for style.

Recent events have depicted that Castle has a sincere respect for Rogers, and that his campaign for justice has stepped up a notch. Frank's take on classic Cap enemies will be swift and brutal. Red Skull? shot in the face. Dr. Faustus, stabbed. Crossbones, shot in the crotch with a rocket launcher, seriously, wouldn't be the first time.

RIP Stiltman, You will be missed.
Except by Frank, who shot your nuts with a m72 LAW

Frank doesn't have those same moral scruples that Rogers had. Also as an example, he stabbed an old man. in the back. with an awl. Seriously, right the hell through a seat cushion.

Frank will bring a new speediness to superheroism. No trials, no evidence, just a shot that's luckier then the rest. Just like America.

RIP all those people Frank's killed.

The Plunderer
The Jester
Jack O'Lantern
That kiddie porn guy from Punisher War Journal 1.
and maybe

Princess Python
and all the others of the Bar Massacre

and that's just off the top of my head.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

The Punisher. By Bret Easton Ellis.

As I sat in the stench ridden alley, I saw my target moving towards me. Sure, he was a low level mafia enforcer, but when one has a desire to cleanse the streets of the criminal element, you can't be picky. He shuffling left and right bumping into everything around. Sad, pathetic...I am doing this guy a favour by capping him. He's not alone though, behind him struts a gorgeous hardbody, with fake blonde hair and the tits to match. She's saying something I can't quite make out, and I see the big oaf turn and feed her a slap, right to left across her pretty face. In another time, in another place, I'd have my way with her in this dank alley. But that's not the prey I'm looking for tonight.

After she picks herself up and dusts herself off, and walks out of the alley trying to keep what little dignity she has, the fat slob continues my way. Nice suit, Armani double breasted, tailored to his body exactly, makes him look almost respectable if it wasn't for the slicked back greased up guido haircut and cheap bargain store shirt he's wearing underneath. Shoes are Armani to match and big guy's sporting a rolex on his right wrist. Idiots humming some shitty tune from the 70's. If it was quieter I'd be able to figure out what it is, but the bustle of the street covers his tunes. Good. They'll cover my tracks too.

Guy's name is Roberto Ugionne, low level guy. Makes his money and a fair chunk of it too. Last guy I has a "chat" with said Berto was shaving money off the top for himself. Like I care, but he also let loose the little fact that Berto had a "special" attraction. To children. This man disgusts me, and he makes me glad that I wear thick leather gloves for this work. Few feet now.
I tighten my boots, pull my gloves on tight, and stand before him.

He sees the skull first. They always do. He knows what it means. Hate to say it but I'm becoming something of a legend around these parts. Wiseguys know not to hang around this neighbourhood, and the guys they throw me know that they shouldn't talk. But they do.

They always do. However, they also think that by talking, and telling me what I want to hear, I'll go easy on them. This, is not true. People believe that all I do is punish, take lives for lives. If you'd seen me work, you'd know that their death is a release. Certain members of the criminal element receive more punishment then others. My record so far was a woman beating, drunk who left two children without a person in the world. He took two days to finish off. By the time he was done you couldn't recognize him at all. I left him on the steps of a club run by those guido fucks. Never saw anything in the newspaper, but I rarely do. Reporters know not to bother me, and Cops know I'm necessary, so they look the other way. The only people who take real notice are my next targets, and I'm glad they know. Makes this moment all the more sweeter.

Berto reaches for his gun, but I'm in his face first. I take my bowie knife and stick it into his hand and through to his hip. He feels it. I see the look in his eyes, he's gone from big bad mafia boy to whimpering baby in ten seconds. Pity. I like it when they fight back. He passes out from the pain coupled with the alcohol in his system already. Good. Makes moving him easier.

He wakes up several hours later in a warehouse I've had staked out for weeks. He's not my first guest here and he won't be the last. I like it here, it's big, and theres always machinery going in the neighbouring buildings so no one hears me work. His left arm in cuffed to a pipe and his right remains skewered on his hip. I cauterized the would a bit while he was out as to prevent him from bleeding to death and taking the easy way out. He's gonna feel this. He looks me in the eye and tries speak but I've got his mouth gagged. I'm a few feet away from him now smoking a nice fat cigar he had in his coat. Tastes good, haven't had a decent one in years. I stand up and pull the gag down for a second making him promise he won't scream.

"I have a question for you, and you better give me a straight answer. You do, and this may just go easier for you."

He looks at me with tear filled eyes and nods. "Anything, anything you want..."

I walk up to him and crouch down, meeting his eye level. "Where...oh where, did you get this cigar. Seriously, it's fantastic."

He looks at me, confused, crying, but silent. "No answer?"

"Please...Castle, I know who you are, and what you do....please...." He's full out bawling now. Dammit. I thought he'd be tougher then this. "Please...just don't kill me...just let me go"

"Bert, old chap, you say you know who I am, yet you want me to release you?"


"Well...BERT" I get right into his face. "I just don't see that happening." I put the cigar out in his right eye and he screams. I leave it there and stand back up. "C'mon now, We had a deal, I pull down the gag and you wouldn't scream. You help me, I help you, it's simple really." More screams. "Listen Bert. I let you talk because I thought you had something to offer me, but if you're just going to sit there crying and screaming for mommy, then I don't think you can help me. In fact, I don't think we have anything in common at all. You need to be quiet now. You keep screaming and I'll find something to use to keep you quiet." Still screams. "Alright, you forced me to do this..." I take another knife and cut off his privates and shove them in his mouth, then put the gag back up over his mouth. "Taste that... just like you made those kids...feel their's your day of judgement today, repent, and you just may be okay...."

He looks at me through a tear filled eye and tries to sound out something of an apology, but through his own flesh and the gag I can't make out a word. Doesn't matter. This man is dead, he just doesn't know that yet. "Bert, you really are a dumb fuck, aren't you....there's no escape now, no easy way out. This is just the beginning."

I walk back to a tool closet I have set there and pull out my nail gun. I hook it up to the compressor and walk towards Bertie, sitting now in steadily expanding pool of his own blood.

"Tell me Bert....Do you like Phil Collins?"

I'm glad I have a tape set up for Maury tomorrow.

Inspired by Palette.

Recently, Pallete (on the right), has been doing comics as if they were written by different stylistic authors. So here is my tasteless contribution.

DareDevil by Helen Keller.

dalskdnfca skfdmlsdkmfvczx/lv skfdvnsd,xmcvsxzfdskjdskvsdkgbjdjgbnvdnvsd

fgsfdgsgfsfggghaerqer w
gffsdgstgt fuck ben affleck, seriously. dsfs gdvgfsdrfsdgfscf gfr
sfafsdf scardf
adfadfgsrgdfcgfsdgsrdgfd gfdzsfs

And for the Record. Affleck was the bomb in phantoms yo.

Thursday, March 8, 2007

Follow Up

Now after yesterday's post, and my discussion of it in other avenues, some people were surprised about how much I cared about Captain America dying, after all,

a) He's a fictional Character.
b) I'm not American.

But it's not the person that was mourned, but rather what Steve Rogers represented. Captain America represents the entire hero complex that exists in today's world. Superman may predate Cap by a few years, but Superman was an alien, sent here from a distant planet. Cap was a man, not unlike us who volunteered to spend the rest of his life as a symbol. Cap represented a time when there was good guys and bad guys, no grey areas. We were good and the Axis were evil. Simple.

Captain America was created in 1941 and was immediately thrust into World War II. He fought the Axis forces before America itself did. He ran into Europe, while wearing a flag.
I personally believe that had it not been for Cap, the superhero genre would be nowhere close to what it is today, if it even existed.

Cap was the first real everyman hero. He was an Army washout given a chance to make something of himself. He fought for 60 years for freedom, in a world where his version of freedom no longer existed. He fought for what America held up as ideals, even against his own government if need be.

America has recently gone through major changes itself. As much as I hate to say this cliché but since 9/11, America is a different country. Not because of "new threats" or a "growing danger", but because America can't sit on this pedestal that they've been on for 200 years. They finally have to admit, that they are just another country.....but they haven't. They've gone so far from the original ideals of their country to this new America, a scared America. By committing these terrorist attacks, Al Qaeda (or whoever you want to believe did it), actually has succeeded in creating fear in America, and every time the US goes to Terror Alert Orange or Red, they win just a little bit more. You want to show the terrorists that you can't break America? Don't lash out like a child afterwards. The follow up after 9/11 was handled surprisingly well, President Bush's people did the investigation, and attacked the country holding those responsible. Afghanistan....and we went for it, and it went as well as could be expected. Iraq on the other hand buggered everything up, and thats a topic for a different day. The fact is America now runs off of fear, and restricting freedoms goes against everything that Captain America stood for.

Marvel's recent Civil War mini was an allegory for 9/11, except replace terrorists with superhumans. The government lashed out, and pulled in the reins on all people that were so inclined in that manner. Rogers represented the old America, and Stark, the new. Rogers' eventually surrendered, knowing that even if he wins the fight.....they lost the argument. The way that America is moving, Rogers' old, flag waving, punch the bad guys patriotism, just won't fly anymore. It was a new world, and he didn't fit anymore.

Other people I've spoken to pointed out that Rogers' was one of their favorite characters, and that they were not happy with what happened. We weren't supposed to be happy, this is not a happy event. Readers should feel sad and angry, not happy. This is not a happy time.

Captain America was the first, the toughest, and the best.
However, he represented the old America.
Now he, like the old America is gone.

So all I have to say to close is...
Thumbs Up, Soldier!

RIP Steve Rogers

Wednesday, March 7, 2007

This Just in.

With a heavy heart, I regret to inform you, Steve Rogers, AKA Captain America. Is dead.

RIP Cap.

Thursday, February 1, 2007

Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon The Bomb Scare for Boston.

Ok, yesterday the city of Boston was basically shut down by a bomb scare.

Small, glowing boards were spotted around the city.

Small Glowing boards....showing a pixelated the finger. Yes the culprits of this "bomb scare" were Ignignokt and Err.....the moonenites. As part of a promotion for the Adult Swim show "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" small light boards were placed around major American Metropolis Areas....Seatlle, LA, Boston, New York and others....and they've been up for WEEKS. Boston was the only city to react this way.

It becomes a sad state of affairs when small lightboards cause the news outlets...all of them (including CNN, which is part of AOL Time Warner, as is the Cartoon Network which runs a creates ATHF) jump on this "Rumor" (at best) and create fear throughout the country.

And to top it off, the two guys in charge of this advertising campaign....HAVE BEEN ARRESTED...for a FELONY. Massachusetts Attorney General Martha Coakley was quoted as saying, "It had a very sinister appearance, It had a battery behind it, and wires." Very sinister....

This is an actual image of one of the signs with 1/30/07, and never forget added in

This? This is what passes for a terrorist act these days? The mayor of Boston has been quoted as saying that they will push for charges against the two men.

The lawyer for the two men said "If somebody had left a VCR on the ground it would have been a device with wires, electronic components and a power source," Which apparently is all you need to be a bomb these days.

This all honesty has to be the worst case of over reacting I've seen lately. By doing this Boston and the media have given ATHF more buzz then they could ever have hoped for. But to the Boston Police Dept, The Mayor of Boston and the Massachusetts Attorney General's office.

I hope you can see this......I'm doing it as hard as I can.

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Fat People.

God, I hate fat people. Not overweight or obese people...That's a whole different bag of nuts, that sa health thing. Fat is an attitude, not a weight class. I call it fat because most people who fall into this group are in fact obese but I chalk that up to coincidence.

Fat people are the people who you see in public places wearing spandex pants. Their at the mall in the tight pants and over sized shirts creating this almost Black Hole of ugly which sucks in ALL attractiveness surrounding them. I've actually seen hot women sucked into this ugly well. People need to learn spandex is a privilege, not a right. Their also the people you see a your school or place of work wearing tights pants being loud when they have no right to do either.

They pull the magic line out too. "I'm hot, you're just jealous because you can't have this!" you're not. The fact that I can see your stomach falling out from that shirt you have NO business wearing really nails that point home.

They propagate their own backwards ideas, quite loudly until you're forced to agree with them.....well say you agree with them so they shut the fuck up. Their loud, obnoxious and rude. They get pissed at people in the service industry when their shit isn't EXACTLY right. They think that everyone owes them everything and don't wanna work for anything.

I know this because as I right this, I'm sitting in the student centre at my school staring several examples right in the eye. They have no idea what I'm doing so I secretly laugh at them.....also....I'm quite bored.

Also...srsly....put a damn sweater for chrissakes...nobody wants to see that.

Next week....their mortal enemy...the dbag jock....maybe....if I probably not.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

The Media.

Ok, so I was listening to CBC radio on the way home from class today (yeah...I do that, radio stations suck here) and they were referring to this trial in Pickton, BC of the man accused of killing 49 women. Their only trying him for 6 at this point but one can assume more charges will be coming. Anyways, they weren't solely covering THAT but rather the coverage of it and whether or not talking about violent and depraved acts is too much for News networks to be covering.

Anyways, my issue doesn't lie with the issue of censoring disturbing content in the news. I'm sure no one wants to hear about HOW he did it, but some facts trickle out. News outlets have been really good about disclaimers and such, warning parents about content coming up that could be offensive to children.

SO they do their little bit about how over time people become desensitized to all this and develop coping mechanisms. All true, pretty basic but good discussion points. Then....they get to the callers.

First caller is a house wife from god knows where (I missed where she was from they told me..but whatever), she had gotten her daughter (9 years old) to NOT come home for lunch that day because of what was being discussed, ok whatever...seems stupid as hell, but whatever. She says she''s been waiting with her phone for the call in section so she could complain about the LACK OF DISCLAIMERS. She states that she had gone out of the room to do laundry and her child heard about what I can only conclude was the reports about this Pickton man, after having dismembered his victims...putting their extremities (fingers toes etc.) in a Bucket. Her problem wasn't with the WHOLE mention of this act...but rather that they used the word BUCKET, which created a image in her daughters head. She would have preferred the word RECEPTICLE. That was her complaint....not the telling of dismemberment and murder......but bucket. That THAT word, bucket, taught her daughter that their are messed up people in the world. I don't know about you but at nine I was aware that some people are fucks, andddddd some aren't.

Her second complaint was that these victims (who as far as I can tell were mostly, if not all, prostitutes) were described as "Sex Trade workers." It's a nice term, gets the point across without being too derogatory, right? Well her issue was that they were referred to AS sex trade workers....not as...and I quote... "Sisters, cousins, daughters....working in the sex trade industry." (extra periods mine) She later said that when she dies will she be referred to as a sister, cousin, mother, a Housewife, Christian.

She tried to sneak that Christian bit in there and slide it under the radar but I picked up on it.
I'm christian myself and I only say that so readers (who all know me anyways) don't say I'm being religousist.(I'm hoping thats a word) but, it bothers me when people who are OVERTLY "christian" feel the need to push what THEY believe should be on Tv/Radio/Media Outlets, over everyone.

So in short, the media already censors what's said, and people need to stop trying to pick apart what LITTLE section of the language that people in public outlets can still use. Also, while it might not be a great system but society still basically lives by the principle of "You are what you do." And if you spend your days cleaning the house and trying to protect your children from what should be common knowledge by are simply a fucksicle.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Yeah, blogspot decided to lose my account so I hadta redo it all....bastards.

As I sit here in environmental biology and my prof talks about the war in vietnam I can't help but think two things.

a) what the fizzuck does the vietnam war have to do with biology.

b) books are such a waste of time

ok...that had nothing to do with anything.

Books…..seriously…who the fuck needs them? In a constantly changing and updating world nothing is more useless then a stack of papers wrapped in cardboard. When information travels at the speed of thought books become obsolete before they can even be printed. Now you may be asking why write a chapter…in a book…about how much books suck…well because that’s how I roll. I do things differently then others and I felt there was no better way to demean a form of media, then to publish a piece of that media that completely destroys it.

Now in the 1500’s books may of worked because people were stupid and liked doing things like reading. That shit don’t fly. Books involve time…and patience…and imagination, things that television, the internet, and ninjas have all long since destroyed. Yes you heard me right….ninjas. Ninjas are well known for their abilities to kill anything, even abstract concepts as love, hatred, and imagination. Also ninjas have been secretly placed in EVERY major event in recent history. JFK? Ninjas. Fall of the Berlin Wall? Ninjas. The end of World War II? Ninjas….and Captain America (of course).

So you may ask? What do ninjas, and books have to do with each other. And the honest truth is…..nothing, really. But you may ALSO ask…what DON’T ninjas and books have in common, and that answer is also nothing, but don’t ask me to explain that, because I won’t, because I can’t. But I DO know one thing…if it came down to a fight, between ninjas and books…ninja’s win hand down. It’s barely a contest.

Now I thought about writing a book and discovered it was a lot of work. Now thats just writing, not doing any research as evidenced above. I felt (and still do) that research only gets in the way of saying what I wanted to say, because, theres no actual fact to it.

To quote Stephen Colbert, "Facts just get in the way of the truth" and as this blog goes on in time, you'll find Colbert's influence all over it. I'm a firm believer in truthiness, and in wikiality. After all whats more true then what we (as a whole) believe is true. Why let some "book" written by some "guy" tell you whats real, is reality not what we make of it?

So thats the first entry, I plan on somehow getting videos done in the future for some posts and I talk better then I write.